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Sluggy Freelance: Worship the Comic!
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2005-09-28 - 12:58 p.m. Linda Hamilton's Triceps This morning I made a startling discovery. I've got Michael Chicklis' triceps. Of course, I have always dreamed with having Linda Hamilton's triceps, and I have been working very hard for several years to attain that long muscled, defined look that she sported in "The Terminator ll." Instead, I've got Michael Chicklis' triceps. "It's in your genes," says Richard, the Personal Torturer. "You are one of those people that will bulk-up and build muscle just by staring at the weights. Do you know how many guys would kill for that?" "But all I ever wanted was Linda Hamilton's triceps!" say I, in despair. "Well, you have short muscles. And anyone that tells you that by doing this or that you will attain long muscles, is lying to you. Be happy that you have strong, short muscled triceps." So I did resigned myself to not having Linda Hamilton's triceps, while at the same time wondering whether or not Richard was missing anything or not. Then, this morning, while having coffee and staring at a picture of Michael Chicklis on Muscle and Fitness Magazine, I realized that his arms looked very familiar. They look just like mine, only bigger on account that he's a guy and I'm a girl. Other than that, the shape and definition is the same. I felt strangely proud. Michael and I can kick your butt. And of course, Carlos bemoans the fact that his triceps don't look like Michael Chicklis'. My son has the long, defined, wiry muscles a la Michel Jordan that I would have killed for as long ago as yesterday. Genetics be damned. Michael Jordan, and my youngest son, both have the Linda Hamilton's triceps. � � |