2005-08-02 - 1:16 p.m.

I Can't Believe it's Not Pancakes!

Good news Julio! I'm not going to kill you after all!
Stewie, "Family Guy."

I have officially declared yesterday a diem horribilis.

Everything that could go wrong went and it is difficult to keep your temper when everyone else's is flaring.

I have to say that other than some random snarkiness, my major accomplishment was to keep my cool as much as I could and not strangle anyone (much).

No one can ask for more.

Nevertheless, we are not here today to talk about my bad day at work. Bad days come and go and there are more important things in life to think about, such as pancakes.

Yes, boys and girls, the belfebe is addicted to pancakes. Regrettably -- or maybe fortunately -- she is also addicted to working out. This rules pancakes out as breakfast unless it is my "free" day, in which I splurge in things such as . . . pancakes. At IHOP no less.

Because I am a breakfast person, and because I am addicted to pancakes, I have been trying various recipes in my quest to come up with something that is a high-protein, low fat, low sugar, no flour product that looks and tastes like a pancake.

Yes, there are some recipes floating around the Internet and even some cook-books. I have tried them all and have found none that meets my standards of yummy pancakyness.

So, after much toil and trouble, and after much experimentation, I proudly present:

Bel's Infamous Protein Pancakes
Makes 2 portions. 1 portion = 3 pancakes.

Ingredients:

2 whole eggs
4 egg whites
2/3 cup rolled oats
1/2 scant cup fat-free cottage cheese
1 teaspoon raw (turbinado) sugar (may replace with Splenda)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking powder

Put all of those ingredients in a blender, in the order in which they are listed. (Believe me, they will mix much better.) Cook them on a slightly oiled pan and enjoy them with sugar-free pancake syrup.

If you wish to have the buttery taste, I use the "I Can't Believe it's not Butter" spray.

DO'S AND DONT'S

DO replace the turbinado sugar for Splenda. I use turbinado sugar because I don't like Splenda and in the larger scheme of things, 1/2 teaspoon of raw sugar is not going to make much of a difference in my diet.

DO replace the whole eggs for egg whites if you want to lower the cholesterol. You may have to add a teaspoon or two of regular pancake mix but it will work. (See below.)

DO add 1 teaspoon of regular pancake mix if you want your pancakes to have firmer consistency. (Up to three teaspoons if you are using egg whites only.)

DON'T use Egg Beaters or other egg substitute instead of the eggs. Trust me on this one. The result is runny and yucky.

DON'T add any protein powder. It will only make your pancakes rubbery. (Unless, of course, you wish to use your pancakes as thrown weapons.)

DON'T add more than 1 teaspoon of regular pancake mix if you are using the 2 whole eggs, unless you want to use your pancakes as thrown weapons (see above.)

DO top your pancakes with sliced bananas, or with blueberries or some other fruit.

I have still not tried to mix blueberries in the batter but if you try it, let me know how it went.

Hmmmmm . . . pancakes . . .

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