2004-12-16 - 4:41 p.m.

We finally set up the Christmas tree and it was so nice to be able to actually decorate it all around, as opposed to only the part of it that is not leaning towards the wall in the corner. One of the niceties of a larger living room.

It also means that this year, for the first time, we used every single ornament we have and there is room to . . . yes . . . buy more!

I love Christmas ornaments.

I love Christmas, period.

Speaking of which, my Dark Child, Hector, has decided that he does not want to do Christmas this year. "It is all pure comercialism," he says. "I will not have any part of it."

Ahhh, to be young and against everything.

So I ordered a bunch of Bruce Lee books and DVD's on Amazon -- he loves martial arts and chess -- and had it mailed to his place with a note that reads: "Bah, humbug. Love, Mom."

And if he wants to come home for dinner at Christmas Eve, there will be a place on the table for him.

Do not humbug me, young man!

And even though there is no denying that Christmas is in many ways an excuse for merchants to boost December sales, I am not going to let *that* ruin *my* Christmas. I'll eat my shoes first, and I am not feeling like Charlie Chaplin right now, thank you very much.

Speaking of shoes and Christmas. I finally had the dubious honor of listening to the infamous "Christmas Shoes" song for the first time in my life. Eliot in the Morning was showcasing it as the most depressing Christmas song ever, and had listeners calling in to tell him just how awful it is.

There was actually one guy who called to say that he had found this song "inspiring" and "uplifting." Eliot hung up the phone on him.

Now *that* was cheerful.

At any rate, that song reminded me of a friend of mine who received a call telling her that her favorite aunt had just died. Since she was the closest family member around, she was in charge of the funeral arrangements.

However, the aunt lived by herself in another town, and my friend didn't know anyone there. She therefore decided to travel with her godfather, who immediately volunteered to help.

When she got to the funeral home, she was asked to bring clothes for her aunt to be buried in (the aunt was still in the hospital gown).

Still in a daze, my friend went shopping for clothes. Of course, she wanted expensive clothes. Nothing is too good for your favorite aunt, even if she happens to be dead. (*Especially* because she happens to be dead.)

The funny part was when she decided to purchase a nice set of underwear. Her godfather said "You know what they are going to do with that underwear? Give it to their girlfriends that's what. Nobody is going to see it and I bet that *you* are not going to check whether she is wearing it or not, and neither do I"

To make a long story short, my friend ended up buying the underwear anyway because, how can you send your favorite aunt to the grave without her panties on?

But she told me that all through the funeral, all she could think of was "Did they really put the underwear on my aunt or is she going away commando?"

The world shall never know.

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